Frustration.

I've been really short tempered lately. I guess it's time to manage my expectation towards work, people and the things happening around me.

Had a super boring chalet since Friday. No highlights. No sports. No physical activites except Mahjong and BBQ. Well, I was disappointed. Very.

It was definitely a good cruising period in a young adult CG, relaxing and laid-back(to me). Too much laid-backness makes me feel frustrated now. I was reminded of the fun filled, super tiring time that I had when I was a youth and serving in a youth CG. I missed those days in W76, W140 and W220. I admit that my energy level will never be back to where I was, but at least there's still something that I can do. And I know I always have people supporting me back then. Now that I'm playing the supporting role, I realised I haven't been much a support at all. I'm half-hearted in the things that I do. Last time I put my whole heart in the things I do because I know that it's worthwhile doing that. Now? I need time and prayers to readjust myself back to have the heart of God in order to be selfless and willing to do things for others especially for people that had failed me.

I'm struggling inside. Maybe it's time to move on to a new place again. Maybe it's time to serve in a ministry actively again. Maybe maybe maybe.. After slacking for so long, will I be able to get my engine up again?

Now I feel so lazy. All I can think of is to sleep and enjoy myself.